Saturday 80s video insanity: Crazy exercise face lady

The Reagan administration brought so much optimism to the country, middle-aged women lost the capacity to feel humiliation

All the trendy hipsters are all about the 80s. Chances are they didn’t grow up in that decade though. I did. And let me tell you, it was a weird time. And this isn’t an observation made in hindsight. I experienced the weirdness, tackiness, gluttony and premium cable boobies at 2 in the afternoon first hand, and vividly remember how “off” certain things seemed, even then. Now granted, it was probably me that was “off,” but I offer into evidence the vast stores of ridiculous videos from that time period.

Wait, did Bon Jovi do birthday party gigs?

Now bizarre, tacky videos are nothing new on the interwebz. Sites like and Everything is Terrible have been lampooning 80s insanity for years. So, as I rip them off, just keep in mind I’m trying expand my readership.. when I reach anywhere those levels, I’ll worry more about originality.

Anyway, the point is I can provide some context to the asinine 80s videos floating around out there. Present days everyone having access to video capability isn’t news. Even forgetting about affordable HD camcorders and flip cameras, most people don’t even use the video capability of their cell phones, which actually record with decent quality (This will go down as the golden age of amateur porn)

I'm a STAR

But in the early 80s something happened that really led to an explosion in videos. VCRs became affordable and accessible, and cameras could record video without film having to be developed or fed live through a TV station. Video rental stores popped up everywhere, and with them the “special interest” sections, which had PSA videos, exercise videos, and other forms of crap.

It’s why there are Angela Lansbury exercise/softcore porn videos and Dirty Dancing instructional videos narrated by sex offenders. So for my first offering in a weekly series (except when I’m too lazy to post) we’ll introduce a lady who has become the standard bearer for 80s insanity. Crazy exercise face lady. This woman obviously had some success with these, because I have found multiple uploads from multiple people, some of which say they had the original VHS tape..meaning someone bought it! That’s rad, and that’s why the 80s were a special time. But more of that later.. for now.. enjoy a titillating bit of 80s insanity, Crazy Exercise Face Lady.

Thumbs Down Thursday


For today’s list, I’m dropping the sarcasm (mostly) and there’s only one contestant. He’s the dumbass with the shit-eating grin above. We’re all emotional over the Trayvon Martin murder, and I will concede that me being a Jewish white dude will never “get it” the way an African American who has seen profiling, racism, and hate killings “gets it.” But I know asshole-ish behavior when I see it. And Spike Lee took the cake this week. What did he do? Well, I guess Spike was so incensed over the heinous act of vigilante violence, that he himself saw fit to himself aid in dispensing some vigilante violence, by posting on Twitter what he thought was George Zimmerman’s home address.

So Spike is clearly an imbecile, but he’s not a fucking imbecile, so he had to have known the ramifications of posting the guy’s address. Do we want justice, or just our pound of flesh, Spike? What makes you better than Zimmerman, if he is guilty of what he seems to be guilty of? The answer? Apparently nothing. But best of all, Spike did like the Right Wing news sites did when they posted the picture of the wrong Trayvon Martin they lifted from Neo-Nazi site, Stormfront. (whole other blog on that forthcoming) Spike just found a listing for a George Zimmerman, and posted the address. Well, it turns out it was an elderly couple who had a son named George Zimmeman that lived there about 20 years ago. Not you know who.

So this poor old couple, for their own safety, had to uproot and leave their homes, because jackass Spike Lee decided fit to try to incite a lynch mob. Luckily for Spike, he seems to have found the kindest, most understanding elderly couple on Earth, as they seemingly have accepted his apology with open arms. I would not have been so understanding. And could you imagine had this been a couple of Tea Party-types? Oh would that have been a delight.

Anyway, where’s our apology Spike? Us regular folk who just want some justice for the murdered kid, not mean streets retribution. Not the kind of divisiveness that may have led to Trayvon Martin getting killed in the first place. Not the kind of self-appointed authority one uses to take the law into their own hands and leads to kids getting killed for looking the wrong way, in the wrong place, at the wrong time. Way to set back those who are fighting day and night for justice. Way to draw a line and embolden the ugly characters on the other side of this thing, who frequent certain “news” websites and blogs. Way to be just like George Zimmerman. Lawless, self-important, quick to act without the facts, and stupid. Way to be a fucking creep.

p.s. You haven’t made a movie worth a shit in 20 years.


The civilized world





p.p.s. the Knicks still suck


In the next few days, you may hear a friend, relative, or co-worker high-fiving someone because the massive health care bill crafted by President Obama and passed by Congress gets shot down along partisan lines by the Supreme Court. When they do, ask them these important questions:

What do we do about the 46 million uninsured Americans who still have to just show up to the ER when sick, and that the rest of us pay for with our premiums?

What do we do about Americans with pre-existing conditions?

What do we do about runaway increasing costs?

What do we do about the gaps in Medicare and Medicaid?

Now they might just be in the “let ’em die” crowd, or they might just be like “the American People and the Constitution have spoken.” And, they will have a point. Latest polling shows about 46% are in favor of repealing the bill while about 40% are not. Ok. Majority speaks. But, it’s not that simple..

In a poll released just today:

85% support insurance companies not rejecting people with pre-existing conditions

68% approve of the provision allowing children to stay on their parents’ plans until age 26

77% approve of the provision closing the Medicare “donut hole”  that screws some elderly people out of prescription coverage (as an aside: who the fuck would oppose this?)

A brand spankin’ new Reuters/Ispos poll shows that 44% of respondents favor the law, and additional 21% oppose it… because it doesn’t go far enough.

That adds up to…. 65% who seem to want some kind of health care overhaul, if not this one.


But let’s leave the lolcats and the other stuff aside for the moment. A majority of Americas don’t want this law. And why? Well, that’s an easy one. It’s that mandate. In case you’ve been under a rock or something, that part of the law states if you don’t have your own private insurance you’re happy with, you can buy into an affordable semi-government subsidized one. And if you don’t, you pay a tax and/or a fine.

Ohh yea.. that does sound kinda bad. Hell, even my very liberal ex was all freaked about that. Seems kinda harsh.. no? Tax or fine me if I don’t buy insurance? Kinda un-American. WHY YOU DAMN LIBERALS TAX ME FOR NO INSURANCE!!

Well you see, that wasn’t our idea. No, us liberals were way more keen on the European-style single-payer system.. you know in those barbaric places like France.. where life expectancy is over 80?? *ours is 78.1 cough cough*

Well who came up with this mandate thing? Hmm.. how about…. these guys. Yup.. this was a conservative “compromise” idea. Don’t take my word for it, ask Mitt Romney and the Heritage Foundation.

So to recap.. Americans generally like all the pillars of “Obamacare” (those who haven’t been brainwashed with the “death panels” crap and so forth..) except the part the conservatives anchored in there. Well, splendid. When it dies in the SCOTUS, and it will, let’s ask them what they would like to do about the very real problems in the American health care system that Americans overwhelmingly want addressed.

Chances are, they’ll have the same sputtering dumbfounded answers as Mitt had on Leno last night. But I will pretend this isn’t a partisan shit-slinging fest. So, Republicans, tell me the “replace” part of the Repeal/Replace banners. I’m listening. As is the rest of the American public.

“M”.. as in Murder. I want to murder this puppet to death

The above is courtesy of Peppermint Park, an obscure 80s-era freakshow for kids, now made (in)famous thanks to the internet.

When my sister and I were kids, we were subjected to this kind of shit daily, as our parents enrolled us in “after school care,” which promised fun and activities, but usually involved us all being herded into a room and stuck in front of a TV for 3 hours. Now I don’t recall if we watched this show exactly, but we were definitely subjected to similar forms of swill. My mom will swear we enjoyed King’s Creek After School & Day care, but all I remember is being bored out of my skull and surrounded by kids who smelled like sour milk and urine. Getting picked up at 6 was like parole, and I remember my parents being real chummy with the employees.. I couldn’t articulate it at the time but I desperately wanted to scream: DO YOU KNOW HOW FUCKING BORED I AM HERE??

But, I was mature enough to understand that my parents worked long hours, and Kings Creek After School was preferable to say, After School arts and crafts with the neighborhood rapist. So, I endured, but grew incredibly resentful of children’s programming. I still am.

Video fun Facts: Some of what this deranged puppet says is batshit insanity, and I’d love an explanation.

“How would a cow go moo without a slalom?”

“the one important letter in momentemum.”

Also, at one point Ernie laments that without the letter M, there would be no “mumps, measles, or monsters.” What kind of sick fuck are you, Ernie?

Wait for it, no, forget it, it’s already here..


Well, we knew 2 things were inevitable. One, that George Zimmerman’s “self defense” story was going to come to light, and b) the Sanford PD was going to try to cover their asses, in some way, shape, or form. Well, in the former, reports are trickling out with Zimmerman claiming he was the one who was attacked, and that Trayvon Martin went for his gun. Of course this completely contradicts the 911 tapes and cell phone calls Martin had with his friend, but let’s just roll with that for a second.

Then we have the story leaked that Trayvon Martin was suspended from school because they found weed residue in his book bag. Not in his system that night, mind you (per the autopsy) but yes.. he may have smoked weed and had some residue in his bag at school. So, that, combined with a hoodie, =, well of course we know what it means. That the right wing blogosphere is alive and kicking and ready for redemption.

But the most amazing thing I’ve read in some time though is right wing blowhard Michael Smerconish’s piece for HuffPo today. He said the 911 tapes would bear out whether Zimmerman really acted in self defense and is therefore innocent. He acknowledges that a) Zimmerman had no real reason to be following Martin, b) He had no real reason to confront Martin, especially being told not to, and c) that Zimmerman clearly had some kind of pissed-off vigilante agenda on his mind when he said “these assholes always get away,” and Smerconsih goes as far as to admit he likely threw in a racial slur to boot, to 911!! But then he says something that just defies all rational logic and explanation. Smerconsih actually fucking says this:

“If a voice analysis shows it to be Zimmerman, that will suggest he was justified in using deadly force, that he was crying for help and restraining himself before drawing his gun.

If, however, it is Martin crying out for help, Zimmerman’s ability to cloak himself in “stand your ground” will evaporate, and that identification will appropriately lead to his arrest.”



Wait… WHAT??!! Are you following that?? We have established, even per Michael Fucking Fox News Sweetheart Smerconish, that Zimmerman had no reason to follow, stalk, or approach Trayvon Martin. Let alone to be armed. But once Zimmerman does this, now he is in a position of self-defense if Martin swung first? Make sure you understand exactly what I am saying and exactly what Mike Smerconish is saying here.

Trayvon Martin had no right to take a swing at the armed stranger who approached and confronted him for no good reason.

George Zimmerman had every right to shoot him dead if Zimmerman didn’t throw the first punch.


Sometimes.. I am just utterly, fucking, speechless.

The New GOP Jihad on Women


I have never gone this route before.. just copying and pasting something from somewhere else for a blog. But Frank Rich hit this one out of the park so articulately and decisively in New York Magazine, that there’s very little I can add or subtract. I am not going to just spit back out the whole article, only the most prescient part; that is, the part most people don’t realize. That is that once upon a time GOP lawmakers were actually ahead of the curve on women’s rights, and have stunningly reversed ground. I am copying the timeline Frank Rich put together at the end of his column. Here is the link to the article in its entirety which you MUST READ.

The timeline (which was an actual press release from the GOP, starting with the Nixon administration and going through George H.W. Bush, those screaming liberals) is below:


1972: The Republican party recognizes the great contributions women have made to our society as homemakers and mothers, as contributors to the community through volunteer work, and as members of the labor force in careers outside the home. We fully endorse the principle of equal rights, equal opportunities, and equal responsibilities for women, and believe that progress in these areas is needed to achieve the full realization of the potentials of American women both in the home and outside the home.

This administration has … :

• Significantly increased resources devoted to enforcement of the Fair Labor Standards Act, providing equal pay for equal work;
• Required all firms doing business with the government to have affirmative-action plans for the hiring and promotion of women;
• Requested Congress to expand the jurisdiction of the Commission on Civil Rights to cover sex discrimination;
• Recommended and supported passage of Title IX of the Higher Education Act opposing discrimination against women in educational institutions;
• Supported the Equal Employment Opportunity Act of 1972 giving the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission enforcement power in sex-discrimination cases;
• Continued our support of the Equal Rights Amendment to the Constitution, our party being the first national party to back this amendment.

1976: The Republican Party reaffirms its support for ratification of the Equal Rights Amendment. Our party was the first national party to endorse the E.R.A. in 1940. We continue to believe its ratification is essential to insure equal rights for all Americans.

1980: We acknowledge the legitimate efforts of those who support or oppose ratification of the Equal Rights Amendment.

… Ratification of the Equal Rights Amendment is now in the hands of state legislatures, and the issues of the time extension and rescission are in the courts. The states have a constitutional right to accept or reject a constitutional amendment without federal interference or pressure. At the direction of the White House, federal departments launched pressure against states which refused to ratify ERA. Regardless of one’s position on ERA, we demand that this practice cease.

1984: The Republican Party has an historic commitment to equal rights for women. Republicans pioneered the right of women to vote, and our party was the first major party to advocate equal pay for equal work, regardless of sex.

President Reagan believes, as do we, that all members of our party are free to work individually for women’s progress.

1988: We must remove remaining obstacles to women’s achieving their full potential and full reward. That does not include the notion of federally mandated comparable worth, which would substitute the decisions of bureaucrats for the judgment of individuals.

1992: We renew the historic Republican commitment to the rights of women, from the early days of the suffragist movement to the present. Because legal rights mean little without opportunity, we assert economic growth as the key to the continued progress of women in all fields of American life.


Present Day: Yea, just kidding.. F*ck that crap, get back in the kitchen where you belong. Oh, and vote Republican.


Thumbs Up Thursday!!

Hooooooooo doggy.. big installment today. Let’s jump right in..

First thumbs up to Idaho state senator Chuck Winder. Idaho is also taking part in the GOP faceplant to become politically irrelevant by introducing yet another “stick a wand up your cooch” bill sure to continue to alienate women of all stripes from the Republican Party. But hey, it’s a sign of real courage to stand up for what you believe in the face of inevitable thermonuclear political disaster!! The good senator has proposed that a doctor should ask a woman who says she was raped if the pregnancy could have been “caused by normal relations in a marriage.” Come now ladies, was it really rape? Brave stand senator!! Way to go!!











Our next thumbs up goes to our old pal John Edwards. Now we all know senator Edwards took a page out of Newt Gingrich’s book by not only cheating on his wife who was dying of cancer, but went one step further by engaging in a million dollar cover-up of his affair using campaign donations! Audacious good sir!!! Well, now it seems that Mr. Edwards may have been involved in a high-end call girl ring in 2007 while “campaigning” (tee-hee) in NYC! This guy just gets more and more fascinating all the time! And to think, he was very nearly Vice President! Eat your heart out Dick Cheney!!!

And last, but hardly least, a huuuuuuuuuuuuggggggggggggggggeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, ginormous thumbs up to Fox News website’s readers and commenters. When the Fox News website put up the story Monday about the DOJ investigating the Trayvon Martin “incident,” their readers were free to chime in, and boy oh boy, chime in they did! Now while we know the facts of the story involve an armed not black man stalking, confronting, and killing an unarmed 17 year old black kid who was apparently arousing suspicious by… walking home with skittles, then the local police deciding it was “self defense” and letting the shooter go home to play XBOX or something… we’ve only really gotten one side of the story here.. Like.. the side with the facts I just stated. But what do conservatives have to say about this? At least, conservatives who follow the Fox site? Well feast you eyes on the other perspective! =D



What a shame—a tragedy, really— because the dead lil’ gangsta could’ve used “‘A-FIRM-TIV AK-SHUN” to go to kollige an play footballz and make lotsa cash munny!”


Fast and Furious didn’t work to pass new gun control so now Eric Holder will try the race card.


No matter how crime figures are massaged by those who want to acknowledge or dispute the existence of a Dirty War, there is nothing ambiguous about what the official statistics portray: for the past 45 years a large segment of bIack America has waged a war of v i o l e n t retribution against white America.


Zimmerman was attacked by the man and defended himself with a gun. Zimmerman’s wounds were verified by police.


17 = child. LOL!!!!!!

Let the LIB word games begin.


Yet the “justice department” refuses to prosecute any voter intimidation that involves a blac k as the intimidator.


Why should anyone care about this kid? Because he is of color? People don’t value kids period. They are property. BTW, I am a conservative that cares a great deal about kids. We follow hundreds of cases each year, many white babies and children, none of them get attention. But he does??


Zimmerman felt threatened by Martin’s gang’s actions…this could have possibly lead to these terrible circumstances. Gang violence MUST BE STOPPED OBAMA!


Blacks can do no wrong, period! That is the DOJ’s excuse for becoming involved. 50+ years of being told they are special and entitled and the gov’t’s only focus is to make it so!!


In any event, it appears to be a case of one sc u m bag Cuban-type (Zimmerman) offing some scummy b l a ck kid (Trayyy-Vonnnn)…in some trash neighborhood….

but now, because the dead kid’s a kneegrow, we have:

the BIG BAD FBI on this “important” case…and

the usual BLACK-RADICAL-PROTESTERS who can’t mind their own business!


Gated communities exist because people are afraid….& negros thrive on crime…Look at our prisons.


Need that too….But Negr0s only have their welfare checks….and in any event can’t follow rules


What time do the riots start? Gotta get my popcorn and munchies ready for the “hood” burning!


Funny you never see them rally against the drug dealing murderers that control their neighborhoods. LOL!!!


How does anyone know what this 17 yr old said, Most likely he threw the race card out ” you stop me because I*M B L ACK” and then became threatning. The media alway plants the seed of doubt when when a B l ac k is sh ot by a caucasian


maybe his gang brothers incited violence too?


How’d the kid get into the “gated” community in the first place?


Them monkeys can jump!


This is going to be a tough case. gang violence is hard to prosecute. martin’s gang may even want to retaliate. this is scary


Let’s find out why the “po’ baby” was REALLY there!


The little thug ghetto monkey should have been home doing his homework, not out gang bangin.


I’m just glad Zimmerman didnt miss and hit an innocent bystander.


THIS IS PURE RACIST!! When do you ever see the DOJ investigate the death of a white child??


This is pure B.S I want to see the kids police record even if something is expounged also why was he removed from facebook it says account terminated.Why because his parents are trying to cover his tracks just like if you hit a bus they see Dollar signs.People have dragged data about Zimmerman out where is the kids past.Don’t say he was a good boy prove it.Ask yourself what is more likely to happen any 17 year old kid when you ask a question.A smartass reply I have never and I mean never seen a teenager run unless he did something wrong.I guess no crinimal has ever cased a place when they went to a store.It takes me aback the way all these facts are quoted by people who read one story on a issue.


Who says his gang wasn’t hiding near by?


he could be a good kid, but being in a gang doesn’t help his case


An unfortunate death, but when will DOJ investigate the death of a Caucsasian?


Here we go again— a LOCAL law enforcement matter (no federal issues) is being hijacked by the FEDS because the alleged “victim” is bl a c k! We all KNOW this kid was up to no good and now he’s feedin’ worms. Too bad-ha ha ha!


Last night on CNN Anderson Cooper kept referring to zimmerman as white when he knew he was Hispanic I wonder why


maybe then the kid was not bIack maybe Hawaiian like tiger woods then we can say s p i c s h o o t s Hawaiian


This has Bl ack racist Holder and his all bl ack racist “DOJ Civil Rights Div” written all over it.


Crack Skittles the new disguise


Skittles actually has a couple slang meanings. Could be referring to recreational usage of Coricidin. Also refers to a male getting lipstick marks from young ladies on the member. Taste the rainbow..


You think the DOJ or main stream will report zimmerman was Hispanic not White


That is all it was — just another n i qq er. No loss


He was slinging crack.


Is tea and skittles slang for guns and crack.


Skittles is actually slang for recreational usage of Coricidin.


This is what happens when you join a gang. kids need to learn from Martin’s mistakes


They should have a hunting season in Florida for these drug crazed gang members.


This could have had a tragic outcome. His gun could have jammed. Whew!


At least he didn’t chain him to the back of his truck?!?!?


How long will it take to get all of those little blk curly nappys out of the White House bedding so that the next POTUS can sleep without that Creepy Crawly feeling .


The picture is of an innocent choir boy designed to evoke sympathy for the “victum” and justify the skewed actions of a corrupt department of justice.


the b!ack community has created a sense of fear with the excessive amounts of cr!me and v!olence and the glamorizing and glorification of cr!mes and v!olence through c rap music (term used lightly) and most are rude, crude, nasty and give others the tough guy BS attitude.You people (term also used lightly) made your beds and now have to lie in them………don’t be angry with us or blame us you did this all on your own.


Hunting, maybe thinning the herd…


It is obvious the un-civilized B!ACKS who dwell in the greatist nation on earth have never wanted to be part of the TEAM, they CRY and P!SS and MOAN at every given oportunity about fairness and equality, While lining up for the free ride at welfare.
The United States is cursed with these baboons, Who will never gain the ability to stand up and make it on their own without our help.
They are the eternal retarded stepchild , needfull and helpless until the end of time.


Now the family of the kid has lost there way out of the ghetto.





























































































One last thought on the Trayvon Martin murder..


For now.. I could go on for pages with timelines, evidence, theories, or just present the fact that both ABC and Fox are cherry picking parts of the 911 tapes to create a slant for their story (granted, Fox rushing to the defense of the NRA is 1000 times more psychotic). But just chew on this.. Let’s pretend for a second that all things were the same.. that George Zimmerman was doing his self-appointed “neighborhood watch” gig and Trayvon Martin was walking back from the store with candy and iced tea.. but.. let’s pretend that Martin was the one that was armed and Zimerman wasn’t.

Now the irony of this will probably make your head explode, unless you’re incredibly stupid or dangerously delusional. Under the changes in my hypothetical scenario, Trayvon Martin would have been minding his own business (albeit illegally armed) and Zimmerman would have still confronted Martin for no apparent reason. Per the very Florida law that led Sanford police to let Zimmerman walk away from the scene of the crime apparently without as much as a ride to the precinct for questioning, Trayvon Martin would have been justified had he been the one to shoot and kill Zimmerman.  

Now.. does anyone on Earth actually believe that Sanford police, in that scenario, would have let Trayvon Martin walk away saying there ‘wasn’t enough evidence to contradict his self-defense story?’ Ehhh… no. Moreover, Trayvon Martin, in that scenario, would actually have been acting in a manner that is true to the spirit of that very law.

Gotta love Florida, and the NRA.

Welcome to Florida, where I can shoot you in the face and not spend a second in jail…


If I make the case I feel “threatened.” If that sounds like pretty broad language, it is. And today, there’s a national uproar since an unarmed 17 year old kid was shot and killed by a self-appointed “neighborhood watchman.” Gee, I really miss my home state.

No, unfortunately you aren’t misreading this, and no, the Sanford, FL police department wasn’t written out of a bad Law and Order episode. This guy, who neighbors had been complaining about being a real pain in the ass and harassing people, took it upon himself to follow this kid, decide he “looked messed up,” and then, after being told by police dispatchers NOT TO FOLLOW THE KID, goes, follows him, confronts him, and said kid ends up dead. A kid who was outweighed by Zimmerman by 100 lbs and was armed with Skittles and Iced Tea.

Keep in mind, Zimmerman was not so much as even held overnight. Cops took his word for it, might have even coached witnesses to change their stories, then, ostensibly, let Zimmerman go home and to bed, and let this unarmed kid… stay dead.

Well, under that vague Florida statute, the cops did the right thing right, as in their own words, there was ‘not enough evidence to contradict Zimmerman’s story.’. Hmm.. funny how a judge called bullshit on that same claim, just last month in a murder that happened in Miami. Of course, that suspect was black.

Just… sayin…

This whole deal is sickening. And inevitably, now the Sanford police might actually have to put the donuts down and do their fucking jobs, due to the national outcry. But maybe it’s time to re-visit the “shoot first ask questions later” laws that the NRA and the gun nuts have pushed relentlessly for. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not talking about someone being armed and defending one’s home, their family, or even their property from an attacker. But in this case, none of that seems to apply. I wasn’t there. I don’t know all the facts. But from what I do know, cops in Florida have more or less opened the door to the Wild West. If you feel “threatened, ” go on and shoot someone. If there isn’t enough “evidence” to refute your claim, you’re good to go.