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Very Metal..

I.. was once, a metalhead. Well, sorta. I always liked Pink Floyd, Bauhaus, Joy Division, the Pixies, and some other very un-metal stuff. But in my early to mid teens, I got in with the metalhead crowd. And oh man, did I see some live metal. In no particular order, I saw live: Megadeth, Anthrax, Slayer, Metallica, Sepultura, Napalm Death, Sick of it All, Death (the band), Sacred Reich, Ozzy, Pantera, Motorhead, and many others. Aside from the big-named metal bands, there were some very good under the radar ones.

One such was Swedish metal band Candlemass. If you’ve ever seen Metalocolypse, you know that Scandinavians know metal like no one else. 6 months of darkness out of the year? Sign me up metal gods! Their singer, who humbly called himself “Messiah,” had one hell of a voice. Like Broadway or grand opera-quality. Pretty unique for a metal band. He also has some impressive girth and is in bad need of some conditioner.


But, as you can guess, I am not featuring them here for their talent. Like everyone else, they tried their hand at some videos in the 80s. And an early one here fails on so many levels it’s priceless. I won’t give away too much, other than it bears a striking resemblance to an awful Canadian movie the MST3K guys did once called The Final Sacrifice. Since the name of that movie might as well be any metal band’s potential debut album name, I guess it’s fitting. Anyway, enjoy some very metal 80s video insanity, “Bewitched” (although Dick York is conspicuously absent).


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