Posted on

MOAR JAN TERRI!!


Look what you've done with your hair, girlfriend!

Apparently, not everyone wastes vast amounts of time looking for ridiculous old crap online like me, because I’ve gotten several messages from people who had not heard of Jan Terri before discovering her on my blog. And they want more. I shall oblige.

For this video, Jan goes a little bit country. And if you’re confused at first as to how some broad from Chicago finds her way to a local redneck dive bar, think of that scene from Blues Brothers.

See, somewhere near Chicago, apparently

So at least that part of the video is feasible, I guess. So to walk you through what you’re seeing (because Jan Terri videos could use some narration), we start out with a lovely exterior shot of the worst bar in Chicago. I’ve verified this with my friend Troy, and he would know. He’s been to all of them. Then we go inside and Jan is enjoying some beers with her posse. But it could also be a support group meeting for women with very unfortunate haircuts.

Not long after, Jan’s dream man walks through the door. This is where I have to give Jan some credit. It would fit with the absurdity of Jan Terri videos if it was Fabio, riding a white horse. But no, it’s someone’s redneck uncle. An average-looking 40-something with “baby blues,” although the quality of the original video tape is so bad, you can’t really tell what color his eyes are, although they sure seem brown. Still, way to keep it real Jan. She doesn’t try to sell us on a romance with Fabio. She’s aiming for a dude who’s a solid 5 or 6. I won’t try to assign Jan a number.

look, let's not nitpick.

Then we get to a part of the video that I had to rewind a few times to figure out. We get what seems like a random cut to a shot of Lake Michigan. On further inspection though I caught that this shot goes with the lyrics “blue enough to fill a swimming pool.” Ahhh.. I get it. If your swimming pool has waves and seagulls floating on the surface, you may need a pool man.

This is where Jan Terri is at her best. To simulate a “blue enough to fill a swimming pool” we get a shot taken from her other video, “Losing You,” of one of the Great Lakes, used as a metaphor for a man with brown eyes. AAhhhHHHhhhhhhhAIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEe-haw!

But we’re just getting started boys and girls. Hold on tight. So Jan and her man have an awkward introduction, and immediately start slow dancing in front of the dartboard. Then there’s a random shot of the guy talking to some dude.. then it’s our two lovebirds at a table. And it’s at this point, at the 1:24 mark, that I very nearly had to just stop. Jan starts seductively caressing the beer bottle. Oh sweet Jesus, I wish I was making that up.

Eat your heart out, Frank Stallone.

Then we get some chick playing darts, two other random women (Jan’s posse she totally ditched for Mr. brown eyes?) , more slow dancing by the dartboard (hope no one decides to start playing), an uncomfortable close up of Mr. blue.. brown eyes, more dancing, then at the 2:10 mark, a celebrity cameo: Roseanne!! With a guy who is not Tom Arnold. Scandalous!

Then the big finish is a shot of a hat and some cigarettes.. then a full minute of credits. I’m not sure why we needed a full minute of credits for a 3 minute music video, but at least it assured that everyone who was associated with this video will remain forever named.

Now, kick back and enjoy, Baby Blues.

Video fun fact! We get another close up of Jan’s man at the 2:28 mark.. and we can just about make out what he says by lip reading: “Let’s eat more hams….. meat.”

Advertisements

About trosen76

Who's asking?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s