As Americans, we were facing a true crisis in the 80s. If you ordered a “lettuce and tomato hamburger,” and it came from a fast food place like Micky Ds, chances are by the time you got it, it had been sitting under a heat lamp for at least 16 hours.
This of course usually led to your veggies being wilted and warm, and your burger to be at room temperature. Thankfully the Golden Arches developed a revolutionary breakthrough to combat this disaster, that they had pretty much uniquely created themselves.
The cost, environmentally, was merely using enough styrofoam for each burger that would probably only double the amount in American landfills. The cost for Jason Alexander, was merely that some snarky blogs like mine could dig up a time where he actually had hair (or a very good toupee) and no shame whatsoever.
As far as awful commercials go, this is about average on the scale for Ronald McVomit. I could dedicate a whole section just to terrible Micky D’s commercials. But holy shit are Jason Alexander and his posse of desperate for work predominantly very white actors excited about this burger.
I’m not going to walk you through the entire video, such as is necessary with Jan Terri, but I at least have to point out the alarming dis-logic at the start. Jason Alexander, seemingly on a whim, announces to no one in particular, or rather asks rhetorically, “aren’t you tired of lettuce and tomato burgers that don’t quite make it?”
Instead of being met with uncomfortable half-stares and then being ignored like most schizophrenics musing random things on a city sidewalk, he immediately gains a captive audience, including a young and enthusiastic Condoleeza Rice, seen on the right.
The rest is a wild song and dance cabaret of unadulterated joy for a burger that has the audacity to not meld the temperatures of its ingredients. And now I’ll admit something to you. I ate a shitload of these burgers in the 80s. My excuse was I was about 8. So enjoy this personal slice from my childhood.