First contender is Archbishop John Carroll High School of Pennsylvania. The good folks at the Catholic Prep school have denied a 17 year old girl admission to her school prom. Is it because she wants to go with another girl or wear only feathers or because she openly worshiped Satan at a school assembly? No! She can’t go because her date flaked out, and the school’s policy says no stag parties! Wait.. no.. ok. No stag.. attendees!
Yes, forget she bought her tickets, bought her dress, and did nothing except get stood up by some dude. Not to mention, a girl going stag is about 5o times less likely to have pre-martial sex then everyone else who is a-ok to go to the school-sponsored dance party! Way to stick to your guns, nuns!
Next contestant is Sean Hannity. Poor, hungry Americans?? Haha.. there’s no such thing! You know, that is one dumb myth I am just sick of hearing. These “poor” people can always “survive off rice and beans.” And that stuff is free, right? As is the gas or electricity to make said foods, and the roof under which one might be fortunate enough to have a home with a kitchen to cook, etc?? Oh it’s not? Well too bad.. haha. “Hungry” poor. Pu-leeeeze. Thumbs up Sean Hannity for kicking an easy target!
Final thumbs up to the original emo guy, and man of god, Glenn Beck. Not even Fox News can contain Beck’s love for the lord!! Based on what he said to a televangelist recently, the Glenn Beck Praise and Worship hour is right around the corner!
It seems, like men of god before him, The Almighty has Beck on speed dial! According to the Beckmeister: “As I stood there, the Lord whispered to me, ‘If you do not leave now, you will lose your soul,’” Beck said. “It was the easiest decision I’ve ever made.”
Wow! Not only is God talking to Glenn Beck, he’s telling him Fox News isn’t pro-Jesus enough. Holy Toledo! =D Thumbs up Mr.. sorry, Your Holiness Beck!