Giblets and Nonsense 7/30/12


I’ve given up on themes and recurrent topics lately because ADHD is ruining my life.. But here’s some shit for you..

 

You’re old news, kid..

 

Ok ladies.. I’m insecure enough. Being cheated on is more or less an inferred goddamn inevitability when I get into a relationship and it’s a neurosis I’m trying to get over. But this guy.. THIS FUCKING GUY isn’t even immune? I give up.

 

The Mittster got back into the shittster when he started his England trip by immediately insulting the English for basically completely fucking up the Olympics. For once, he was probably on to something. The Brits made it so goddamn complicated and onerous to get tickets that there are huge swaths of empty seats for most events while people desperately try to spend large amounts of money and hours online trying to get in. Makes sense, I guess. It’s not like the Olympics cost much or like Britain could use the goddamn money.

 

I include this unrelated picture of Mitt Romney wearing a yarmulke.. because.. tee hee.

 

Chick-Fil-A’s president went and affirmed he’s bigot and a homophobe.. and .. then some stuff happened. I haven’t patronized a Chick-Fil-A in several years.. and now I won’t.. and whatever. For lots of reasons, boycotts have a lot more to do with gratification of those boycotting and a lot less to do with the fate of the business being boycotted. That’s fine. I accept that. In a story that may or may not be unrelated, a few days ago the company’s VP in charge of PR dropped dead of a heart attack. I don’t wish anyone an untimely death and generally don’t make light of such things, but let’s face it, this will be blamed on the gays.

 

 

Add Washington DC to the list of places where House Republicans are trying to erase Roe v Wade without officially doing that.. (what.. what? DC?) Better yet, as you may know if you stayed awake in US Poli Sci class freshman year, DC has no Reps in the House.. meaning.. *drum roll* The fucking House is trying to enact a brutal anti-abortion law upon women who don’t even have any representation in the chamber. Nice eh? Funny, I’ve seen plenty of Tea Party assholes carrying “Taxation without Representation is Tyranny” signs, when it doesn’t apply to them nor do they know what that means… But here’s some very real life-threatening shit they are attempting to impose on women, without representation. Tyranny, anyone?

You…fucking…idiots..

And why “brutal” you say? Well like most completely Neanderthal anti-abortion legislation that has cropped up lately (and is accepted by the media as somehow merely legitimate and “conservative”), it does not spare victims of rape, incest, or those who may actually fucking die from their unwanted pregnancy. Got that ladies? YOUR house of Representatives wants to sentence victims of rape to potential DEATH for having the audacity to get pregnant. And House Republicans are freaked out about Shari’a Law? They are trying to enact it.

Why aren’t American women at the very least protesting the shit out of this asshole like.. every day?

 

 

 

 

 

And finally.. I’m on Pinterest!

 

 

Ok, let me clarify. I’m always a good 3 years behind on this shit. I really am not sure what the fuck Pinterest is.. but I do know chicks love it.. my gf is on it a lot. And it’s the newest thing.. with the chicks. Hence my excitement. I don’t know how I got there.. other than some shit from the blog has been “pinned.” Well isn’t this exciting.

 

 

 

Quick Hitters 7.10.12


I’m turning 30-something in 2 days. I don’t feel a day over 30-something..

 

Willard’s tax returns (or lack thereof) are now becoming a thing. Mitt and the GOP seem stunned by this turn of events. Not sure why. Look, every rich asshole does this kind of thing to avoid paying as much tax as possible. In Mitt’s case, it seems there’s a lot of hiding money off-shore. Personally I don’t find it terribly galling. But undecided voters, under the constant illusion the POTUS should be “one of them,” whatever the hell that means, don’t take this kind of thing too well. It won’t be a huge scandal, but it will be distasteful. Willard will have to eventually release all the tax returns and just hope people don’t know what they’re looking at. It’s gonna sting..

Just ask my friends in the Hamptons..

 

Vote for Jesus! No seriously.. some preacher wants his congregation (his vast, online congregation) to write in “Jesus” on their presidential ballots, rather than vote for Romey or Obama. Oh sure, he hates Obama like any good preacher-man, but he hates Mormons just as much if not more. And what’s more American than religious hatred ruling the day? The irony is this could spark a war within the congregation, since any good Birther will tell you that there’s no way Jesus of Nazareth could be considered an “American Citizen of Natural Birth,” although Mormons might be able to make that claim, seeing as how they had him showing up in America back in the day..

Not so fast… WHERE’S THE BIRTH CERTIFICATE??!!

 

Before you get too excited about the prospect of an illusory 3d party candidate taking votes away from Romney, the “petition” only has about 200K signees so far, and they are undoubtedly concentrated in states that are redder than a baboon’s ass. So I don’t think Romney is in any real danger of losing to Jesus in Kansas or Nebraska. And if I was the kind of guy to make these kind of jokes, I’d quip about the possibility on the morning after the election about a very confused auto mechanic of Hispanic descent in Lawrence, Kansas being very confused as to how and why he got thousands of write-in votes for President………

if I was that kind of guy.

 

In the coming days, I am going to sue someone! (seriously) =D       This is as truly American as I’ve felt in a very long time.

USA!! USA!!

 

Poll-watching? Guilty as charged. Polls this far out are semi-meaningless.. but I follow them semi-religiously. Why? Politics for me is like the World Cup. Every 4 years I become very interested. Blame it on ADHD.. or something. Anyway, I will have a whole blog coming up on polls. But let me tell you what the rules are… find all the polls that have the results that look good for the candidate you want. Copy and paste these results on every social networking, message board, and political discussion site you can find. The ones that don’t look so hot for your candidate? Either ignore, downplay, or claim obvious bias or outright rigging of said poll. It’s the rules of the internet.

 

pole-watching.. Secret Service/GSA style

 

 

Penn State is set to release the findings from an independent investigation into Sandusky-gate, and it’s not gonna look good for the legacy of Joe Paterno. Since I don’t have a dog in this fight but the truth and justice, and since I am a football fan and would generally not like to see someone so influential to the sport have their legacy grossly tarnished, I am not salivating to see these results. But I am eager to know the truth. Child sex abuse victims are bigger than football. Of course they aren’t more profitable, which is how we got here in the first place. I won’t give too much away, it will all be in the report released on Thursday.

Hey, college football, everyone still frothing about the University of Miami kids getting “improper” trips on a booster’s boat and lobster dinners? The horror.. Funny though, I don’t see too many ESPN talking heads clamoring for the “death penalty” for Penn State football.. Ho-hum..

Hey.. it’s not like I took recruits to a booster’s house..

 

And speaking of creeps…

“When women got the right to vote is when it all went downhill because that’s when votes started being cast with emotion and maternal instincts that government ought to reflect”

 

Yea.. he really said that a few days ago. And when he realized he stepped in it, he backtracked with a quick “just kidding.” rush.. let me tell you from experience.. when you say something really thoughtless and offensive, especially to or about women, the “just kidding” doesn’t help. Not that Rush could be any more unpopular with women.

 

Mitch McConnell hates you and wants you to die..


 

If you aren’t rich and are unfortunate enough to get sick. That is the only conclusion I can come to after his comments this past Sunday. Basically, when pressed by Chris Wallace (you know that liberal media stooge), about how he was going “replace” Obamacare after the whole “repeal” thing, which is McConnell and the GOP’s reason for existence. McConnell took a page out of the old Iraqi Defense Minister and basically said “There is no Health Care issue.” Mmmmmmk

Chris Wallace was as incredulous as I was. But it fits with the latest right-wing assault on health care reform. Remember way back in 2008 when both parties were all about that? Well once Obama got elected it was “death panels” and Socialism!!.. and oh boy did they win the message battle. Not just win.. I mean it was a slaughter.. still is. Obama might as well have passed an amendment calling for the murder of every first-born son.

I AM THE GOD OF HELLFIRE

But the saving grace for the GOP was that mandate.. surely the Supreme Court would strike that down.. that Un-American terrible piece of legislation.. that Obama didn’t want, and was shoe-horned in by Republicans.. like Mitt Romney! =D But of course that blew up in their faces.. and now.. well shit. Failure at the Supreme Court-level was supposed to be Obama’s Waterloo, remember?

And McConnell’s sentiments are in-line with what’s coming from the GOP.. from everyone but Mitt Romney, who has no choice but to at least say that healthcare reform.. SOME kind of health care reform.. (albeit not Obamacare.. which is essentially Massachusetts Romneycare on a national scale).. is that they don’t want health care reform.. of any kind.. for anything. Shit, according to these dudes, cancer isn’t even potentially lethal anymore!

Look, even though the GOP is still fucking killing this message battle, with like half the American public thinking Obamacare will impose a new tax, on everyone, which is TOTAL BULLSHIT, the polls still essentially aren’t moving. What happens if just a few people realize these talking points don’t jibe with reality, or worse, that since people basically like all the individual measures of the Act, except the mandate, and then realize the mandate isn’t what they think it is?

Well, let’s just keep with the story that health care is fine and dandy, and no reform is necessary at all. That or operation “Let Him Die” is next. That should go over well.